Where can I go for a thong or naked walk in the UK?

I loved my recent thong beach walk in the Eastern Algarve region of Portugal. It was a fabulously liberating experience in a beautiful setting but, is it one I can successfully recreate in the heavily populated county of Surrey in the UK where I currently reside? I want it to be private and secluded as my aim, as always, is not to offend anyone. Even a short walk would suffice, I just want to feel that freedom once more, however brief, or without them.

The hot and humid summer we are currently in the middle of is certainly making it more tempting than ever. It’s such a huge disappointment, especially after wandering around naked at home and in the secluded part of my garden that cannot be seen by my neighbours, to have to put even a modest amount of clothes on to go out although, it’s totally understandable of course. Countless weeks of temperatures around 30 degrees are giving us the ideal weather to do this. Who knows when, or if, we’ll ever see a summer like this again in the UK? It’s definitely become a case of taking advantage when this rare opportunity arises. But where? In the busiest county on this crowded island?

I know there are groups out there that organise naked walks but, I’m looking for a short, solo adventure. I like that little bit of excitement you get from planning and actually doing something like this alone. I don’t think I would feel that in an organised group but, I might be wrong, please let me know. I think it’s the slightly secretive and illicit nature of doing things like this that really appeals to me. Along with just wanting to be naked, or as naked as possible, in some beautiful countryside enjoying fabulous weather.

It doesn’t have to be a long ramble or hike as I’ve already mentioned, even a 1 mile walk would be better than nothing. Just to have the experience of being outside, somewhere new, quiet, secluded, wearing nothing at all or just a swim thong, surrounded by pure nature. I just want the simple pleasure of walking while the sun bathes my entire body, the occasional waft of welcome cooling breeze being felt where it never is in the grind of everyday life.

I’ve been pouring over maps, both good old fashioned paper ones and online but, I’m convinced there’s nowhere close to me where I can actually, safely do this. Every piece of green space on the map has been meticulously scrutinised, away from roads, car parks, tracks and footpaths but, it just doesn’t look feasible. All I want to do is walk through beautiful, peaceful woods or along the edge of vast, deserted fields high with growth but I’m just in the wrong part of the country for this.

To use a horrible corporate cliche, I start thinking outside of the box. I could go very early morning or late evening, the current temperature would easily allow this and make it more than comfortable. I do seem to be rising earlier the older I get but maybe the fading light of a sultry summer evening would be best? Maybe if I track a railway line or motorway? I think the noise, particularly from motorway traffic, would certainly have a negative effect on the experience and feeling I’m trying to achieve. You’d be unlikely to stumble into anyone although, if you did, you wouldn’t hear them approaching either.

A weekday is always going to be quieter than the weekend so, this is the first thing I consider. I’m leaning towards a cool, crisp early morning too, I can already imagine the smells, birdsong and gently increasing temperature. The location is still my main issue though. More online map and satellite view studying have highlighted a potential route of a couple of miles, ironically close to the popular North Downs. It tracks a railway line for a stretch, brainstormed earlier, but, the trains are fairly infrequent on this line. There looks to be some good hedges surrounding some large fields too and no properties to speak of. It’s a distinct possibility.

I don’t know the area that we’ll so, the plan after arrival is to get a feel for the surroundings and then do the walk in a swim thong first. Hopefully, should I happen to stumble into anyone then they may only be offended by my clothing choice rather than my naked form. I may even go for a fairly sober colour choice too, just to minimise any initial reaction should I happen to meet anyone. I certainly don’t want to though, just peace and solitude is all I crave.

Now that I have a plan, I just need that midweek day of annual leave and an early alarm call to actually do this, here, in Surrey. If all goes well in just a swim thong then I’ll immediately retrace my steps totally naked, that would be the ideal scenario. It will also become a regular occurrence too, weather permitting. I’d love to be able to create a list of walks in different locations of differing lengths but, I know I’m being greedy and unrealistic but, you never know?

If it appears completely unfeasible once I’m there then its back to the drawing board, I don’t give up easily. Maybe a relatively short train journey away from the more urban areas to a quiet station could be a starting point? And of course, some online research may provide me with some ideas or alternatives. When, not if, I complete a solo walk close to home, I’ll certainly share the experience here.

Any suggestions or ideas would be gratefully received. Maybe I should just be sociable and join an organised naked group walk after all?

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